It never ceases to amaze me how much rejection affects me. I never seem to be able to move past it quickly, regardless of the cause. Recently, I sent out some resumes to "test the market". After some intially positive responses, all were promptly rejected. There's that word again...My point is, even though I wasn't REALLY serious, I still feel, well, not worthless, just as if everyone else got a Christmas present and mine was sent to the wrong address. Ok, so there's a bit of self-pity there but I haven't been open enough about it and I think that's the problem.
Otherwise, it's been a fantastic last couple of weeks. But, with this recent rejection, I'm starting to get an ominous feeling that there's some big changes in store for me, which might not be "all good".
How do you handle your feelings of self-worth? I would think that, at some point, everyone feels this way, but the nature of it trends towards internalization so, coupled with the low self-esteem that comes with rejection, I tend to feel as if I'm the only person in the world who is dealing with these feelings; I realize I'm not, so, everyone give me some external validation! :)
As for the rest, I'd like to end on a positive note with yet another poem. I know, I know; it's a very high school thing to do, but I have to make sure that Bart gets some happy in his day, which will certainly make me happy. So, JB, this is for you. I wrote this for a class I took in college which was taught by Richard Murphy, who was once the poet laurete of Ireland:
Meeting the Poet
Old Irish Man looked up at me
His face scrunched up
Like whiskey smells
And said aloud
"Cotton floating down
On polar bears"
Shook his head
Shuffling my paper
To the bottom of the pile
Otherwise, it's been a fantastic last couple of weeks. But, with this recent rejection, I'm starting to get an ominous feeling that there's some big changes in store for me, which might not be "all good".
How do you handle your feelings of self-worth? I would think that, at some point, everyone feels this way, but the nature of it trends towards internalization so, coupled with the low self-esteem that comes with rejection, I tend to feel as if I'm the only person in the world who is dealing with these feelings; I realize I'm not, so, everyone give me some external validation! :)
As for the rest, I'd like to end on a positive note with yet another poem. I know, I know; it's a very high school thing to do, but I have to make sure that Bart gets some happy in his day, which will certainly make me happy. So, JB, this is for you. I wrote this for a class I took in college which was taught by Richard Murphy, who was once the poet laurete of Ireland:
Meeting the Poet
Old Irish Man looked up at me
His face scrunched up
Like whiskey smells
And said aloud
"Cotton floating down
On polar bears"
Shook his head
Shuffling my paper
To the bottom of the pile
posted by McDizzle at 3/15/2006 05:18:00 PM
1 Comments:
I have to admit, rejection has not been a dogged factor in my life. Am i lucky? Was i blessed? I don't know, but the truth is the truth and i haven't know rejection on a regular basis in my life.
You might ask... "How can this help?"
And i will answer, "I really don't know, but i find that if i keep writing [typing] usually something profound comes out on the screen.
The question of self-worth is a whole different subject. I have found myself at the bottom of the worth barrel on a regular basis since the age of 5. I am familiar with the lack of worth.. it was beaten into me as a child, griled into me as an adolescent, and talked into me as a young adult with the health insurance premiums paid in order to pay for the priviledge.
I am a student of self-worthlessness if there ever was one.
McD... your current situation is one that i have decided to refer to as exfuckingkarmanization.
Exfuckingkarmanization is the unexplainable supernatural effectual force that screws good and just people just because it needs to do so in order to retain it's definition.
Since i made up the word, i can also make up the rules. Exfuckingkarmanization may only aflict a single person for a period of one year. After said year, Exfuckingkarmanization must take to the wind and find new, good, just people to screw over for no good or verifiable reason.
So it is said.
So it shall be.
jb
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